{"title":"Adult Jersey Tees","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta name=\"description\" content=\"Shop adult tees with endangered species, dark humor, and real conservation impact. Mythical comfort meets eco-conscious activism.\"\u003e \u003cmeta name=\"keywords\" content=\"endangered species shirts, conservation apparel, dark humor tees, eco-friendly clothing, mythical animals, inclusive sizing, wildlife merch\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003eAdult Jersey Tees\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eExtinction’s never looked so good. This collection gathers all adult tees from \u003cstrong\u003eSoon To Be Mythical\u003c\/strong\u003e, each featuring endangered species with a twist of dark humor and unapologetic style. Whether you're into \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/postponethemyth.com\/collections\/adult-jersey-tees\"\u003eeco-friendly apparel\u003c\/a\u003e, \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/postponethemyth.com\/collections\/cranial-oddities\"\u003ewildlife conservation accessories\u003c\/a\u003e, or just want to wear a sarcastic raccoon while sipping ethically sourced coffee, we’ve got you covered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery tee is crafted for mythical comfort and inclusive sizing, with designs that raise awareness for real animals on the brink. A portion of proceeds supports nonprofits working in \u003cstrong\u003ewildlife protection\u003c\/strong\u003e, \u003cstrong\u003ebiodiversity\u003c\/strong\u003e, and \u003cstrong\u003esustainable development\u003c\/strong\u003e. Learn more about where your money goes on \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/postponethemyth.com\/pages\/the-beneficiaries\"\u003eThe Beneficiaries page\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLooking for something snarkier? Explore our limited edition mythical beasts and dark humor conservation tees. Because saving species shouldn’t be boring—and neither should your wardrobe.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"🦄-postpone-the-myth™-jersey-tee","title":"🦄 Postpone the Myth™ Jersey Tee","description":"\u003ch1\u003e🦄 Postpone the Myth™ Jersey Tee\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIntroducing the \u003cstrong\u003ePostpone the Myth™ Jersey Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e: a wearable rally cry for anyone who believes extinction shouldn’t be inevitable—or boring. This ultra-soft, ethically made tee features our bold tagline and a few endangered icons who deserve more than a footnote in history. It’s tragic fashion with a purpose, and yes, it pairs beautifully with righteous indignation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e💥 Why You’ll Love It:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eActivism you can wear\u003c\/strong\u003e—because shouting is optional, but impact isn’t\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Bella+Canvas 3001\u003c\/strong\u003e—soft, breathable, and built to last longer than some species\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFront print\u003c\/strong\u003e includes our tagline + endangered legends (who didn’t ask to be this iconic)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA portion of every purchase goes directly to \u003cstrong\u003enon-profits fighting to save endangered species\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eShips fast\u003c\/strong\u003e—because time is running out (for the animals, not your delivery)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e🐾 Perfect For:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConservationists with a dark sense of humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnimal lovers who know what “IUCN Red List” means\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who wants to raise awareness without raising their voice\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePostpone the myth. Wear the rare. Save the species.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":43693886767243,"sku":"64325358633948017764","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ XS","offer_id":43693886800011,"sku":"12821699046311752600","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43693886832779,"sku":"87098992561874889719","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ S","offer_id":43693886865547,"sku":"10068284059144008737","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":43693886898315,"sku":"23263594826199357490","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ M","offer_id":43693886931083,"sku":"16656859112486094734","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":43693886963851,"sku":"16559386277389359071","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ L","offer_id":43693886996619,"sku":"46640718830880519519","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":43693887029387,"sku":"41313099537611010119","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ XL","offer_id":43693887062155,"sku":"12023255575279895750","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":43693887094923,"sku":"44694213577860215583","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":43693887127691,"sku":"34268225131805948515","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":43693887160459,"sku":"31822877697155689472","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":43693887193227,"sku":"63282320371597877981","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":43693887225995,"sku":"12064349836429080232","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":43693887258763,"sku":"11197033350922707780","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":43693887291531,"sku":"29088421377847561423","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0695\/5627\/3291\/files\/1220504421045680122_2048.jpg?v=1754254776"},{"product_id":"chinese-pangolin-field-drawing-jersey-tee","title":"Chinese Pangolin Field Drawing Jersey Tee","description":"\u003ch1\u003eChinese Pangolin Field Tee – \u003cem\u003eSoon To Be Mythical\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMeet the most trafficked mammal you’ve never heard of: the Chinese Pangolin (\u003cem\u003eManis pentadactyla\u003c\/em\u003e). This 100% cotton tee features a vintage-style field drawing of the elusive, scale-armored insectivore—because nothing says “fashion statement” like a creature on the brink.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e💀 \u003cstrong\u003eWhy It’s Tragically Perfect:\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEthically made from ultra-soft cotton—gentle on your skin, unlike humanity on pangolins\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront print includes scientific name and illustration, for maximum nerd cred\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGallows humor meets conservation: wear it ironically, support it sincerely\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA portion of every purchase goes to nonprofits fighting extinction (because pangolins can’t Venmo)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e📉 \u003cstrong\u003eEndangered Stats:\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCritically endangered due to illegal wildlife trade and habitat loss\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNative to Asia, but disappearing faster than your faith in humanity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProtected under CITES, but still hunted for scales and meat—because myths die hard\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e🦴 \u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConservationists with a dark sense of humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnimal lovers who read IUCN reports for fun\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who wants to raise awareness without raising their voice\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear the rare. Mourn the absurd. Save the species\u003c\/strong\u003e—before they’re \u003cem\u003eSoon To Be Mythical\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ XS","offer_id":43694026555531,"sku":"28654986455346133498","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ XS","offer_id":43694026588299,"sku":"28594700375653470581","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ XS","offer_id":43694026621067,"sku":"26750314571259997276","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":43694026653835,"sku":"23074196717881503093","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ S","offer_id":43694026686603,"sku":"84562152840216773388","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ S","offer_id":43694026719371,"sku":"16676740231511287088","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":43694026752139,"sku":"38519479491923508380","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ M","offer_id":43694026784907,"sku":"14061007951436858055","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ M","offer_id":43694026817675,"sku":"31604370235011668017","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":43694026850443,"sku":"12276516594040016959","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ L","offer_id":43694026883211,"sku":"84584436089583699990","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ L","offer_id":43694026915979,"sku":"53237307189167486262","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":43694026948747,"sku":"29906701916794195464","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ XL","offer_id":43694026981515,"sku":"28250743191764005818","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ XL","offer_id":43694027014283,"sku":"13892277919043287141","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":43694027047051,"sku":"17211464881557709026","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ 2XL","offer_id":43694027079819,"sku":"75480617581954907388","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ 2XL","offer_id":43694027112587,"sku":"15912266483563737188","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":43694027145355,"sku":"28098479003494811975","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ 3XL","offer_id":43694027178123,"sku":"22914256229239464840","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ 3XL","offer_id":43694027210891,"sku":"65250932209551937810","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":43694027243659,"sku":"12732936205712911777","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ 4XL","offer_id":43694027276427,"sku":"16718900661527973117","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ 4XL","offer_id":43694027309195,"sku":"53769822124687386437","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":43694027341963,"sku":"91895759451540914393","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0695\/5627\/3291\/files\/160200589801543521_2048.jpg?v=1754272963"},{"product_id":"axolotl-field-drawing-jersey-tee","title":"Axolotl Field Drawing Jersey Tee","description":"\u003ch1\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAxolotl Field Drawing Jersey Tee – Soon To Be Mythical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSay hello to the smiling amphibian that’s regenerating limbs while losing its habitat: the axolotl (\u003cem\u003eAmbystoma mexicanum\u003c\/em\u003e). This 100% cotton tee features a vintage-style field sketch of the critically endangered lake-dweller—because nothing says “quirky conservation” like a creature that’s both adorable and on the brink.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e💀 \u003cstrong\u003eWhy It’s Tragically Perfect:\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEthically made from ultra-soft cotton—gentle on your skin, unlike humanity on ecosystems\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront print includes scientific name and illustration, for maximum nerd cred\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGallows humor meets conservation: wear it ironically, support it sincerely\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA portion of every purchase goes to nonprofits fighting extinction (because axolotls can’t GoFundMe)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e📉 \u003cstrong\u003eEndangered Stats:\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCritically endangered due to pollution, habitat loss, and invasive species\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNative only to Lake Xochimilco in Mexico City\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFamous for regenerating limbs, spinal cords, and parts of the brain—basically nature’s reboot button\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThreatened by urban expansion and water contamination, despite being a scientific marvel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e🦴 \u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConservationists with a dark sense of humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnimal lovers who know their Latin binomials\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who wants to raise awareness without raising their voice\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear the rare. Mourn the absurd. Save the species—\u003c\/strong\u003ebefore they’re Soon To Be Mythical.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ XS","offer_id":43694041956491,"sku":"14493659696363064099","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ XS","offer_id":43694041989259,"sku":"26946547810139122189","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ XS","offer_id":43694042022027,"sku":"27886314437450598078","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":43694042054795,"sku":"27606907551683218721","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ S","offer_id":43694042087563,"sku":"14144439443835948521","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ S","offer_id":43694042120331,"sku":"11792540649357639484","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":43694042153099,"sku":"10915725236486965730","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ M","offer_id":43694042185867,"sku":"76907620670890151527","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ M","offer_id":43694042218635,"sku":"24450572678114805499","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":43694042251403,"sku":"20903156692566681320","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ L","offer_id":43694042284171,"sku":"44516422204353456473","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ L","offer_id":43694042316939,"sku":"30229574870479838842","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":43694042349707,"sku":"16738829655362973398","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ XL","offer_id":43694042382475,"sku":"60003310729724008812","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ XL","offer_id":43694042415243,"sku":"33089841886747494295","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":43694042448011,"sku":"38917829593538172329","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ 2XL","offer_id":43694042480779,"sku":"22304915335180019871","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ 2XL","offer_id":43694042513547,"sku":"21857244468801899192","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":43694042546315,"sku":"31135801399589998842","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ 3XL","offer_id":43694042579083,"sku":"13045771286039227728","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ 3XL","offer_id":43694042611851,"sku":"72682280242512438962","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":43694042644619,"sku":"12845460121789377517","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ 4XL","offer_id":43694042677387,"sku":"46018364383319453959","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ 4XL","offer_id":43694042710155,"sku":"49978423946776172641","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":43694042742923,"sku":"13823792185559218101","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0695\/5627\/3291\/files\/17397841142073019431_2048.jpg?v=1754274307"},{"product_id":"saola-field-drawing-jersey-tee","title":"Saola Field Drawing Jersey Tee","description":"\u003ch1\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSaola Field Drawing Tee – Soon To Be Mythical\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Cotton\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMeet the unicorn you’ve never heard of—and may never see again. This tee features a field-style sketch of the elusive Saola (\u003cem\u003ePseudoryx nghetinhensis\u003c\/em\u003e), a creature so rare it’s practically folklore. Except it’s real. And vanishing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e💀 Why It’s Tragically Perfect:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade from ultra-soft, breathable cotton—ideal for contemplating extinction in comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFeatures a minimalist field illustration of the Saola, complete with its scientific name for extra nerd cred\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGallows humor meets conservation: because laughing through eco-anxiety is cheaper than therapy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA portion of every purchase supports nonprofits working to save endangered species (before they become merch-exclusive)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e📉 Endangered Stats:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFewer than 100 Saolas are believed to exist in the wild\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNative to the Annamite Mountains of Laos and Vietnam\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFirst discovered in 1992—hasn’t been seen in the wild since 2013\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThreatened by habitat loss and poaching, despite being one of the least understood mammals on Earth\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e🦄 Perfect For:\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConservationists who love cryptid vibes and tragic irony\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBiology nerds, field researchers, and anyone who’s Googled “what is a Saola?”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePeople who want their fashion to spark conversation—and maybe a little existential dread\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear the mystery. Mourn the myth. 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Save the species\u003c\/strong\u003e—before they’re \u003cem\u003eSoon To Be Mythical\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ XS","offer_id":43697967202443,"sku":"21056222627412418233","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ XS","offer_id":43697967235211,"sku":"10901166770410452651","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ XS","offer_id":43697967267979,"sku":"30738148012596291928","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":43697967300747,"sku":"31857312496737353100","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ S","offer_id":43697967333515,"sku":"78811196564548449061","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ S","offer_id":43697967366283,"sku":"33923851712169843144","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":43697967399051,"sku":"18285583091982935007","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ M","offer_id":43697967431819,"sku":"30792750919285916063","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ M","offer_id":43697967464587,"sku":"16798584757714492361","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":43697967497355,"sku":"76984458506453442521","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ L","offer_id":43697967530123,"sku":"16351434389885133641","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ L","offer_id":43697967562891,"sku":"23489698938527800517","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":43697967595659,"sku":"23756157888738952212","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ XL","offer_id":43697967628427,"sku":"21679107649228702794","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ XL","offer_id":43697967661195,"sku":"69109029715581725505","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":43697967693963,"sku":"25260386770959803658","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ 2XL","offer_id":43697967726731,"sku":"19965403007368003015","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ 2XL","offer_id":43697967759499,"sku":"17937082694379355687","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":43697967792267,"sku":"22464721771573289060","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ 3XL","offer_id":43697967825035,"sku":"18344593703299903116","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ 3XL","offer_id":43697967857803,"sku":"76208177038847277751","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":43697967890571,"sku":"30317834355234414284","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Citron \/ 4XL","offer_id":43697967923339,"sku":"18260811917398994182","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ 4XL","offer_id":43697967956107,"sku":"12541526677531361947","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":43697967988875,"sku":"33624871160339819455","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0695\/5627\/3291\/files\/13375196616108079165_2048.jpg?v=1754348549"},{"product_id":"pallas-s-cat-punk-synth-jersey-tee","title":"Pallas’s Cat Punk Synth Jersey Tee","description":"\u003ch1\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePallas’s Cat Punk Synth Tee – Soon To Be Mythical\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Cotton\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen you're a grumpy-faced, high-altitude feline with a dwindling population, forming a punk band is just self-care. 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Mourn the absurd. Save the species\u003c\/strong\u003e—before they’re \u003cem\u003eSoon To Be Mythical\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Army \/ XS","offer_id":43698477301899,"sku":"29929403091017970948","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":43698477334667,"sku":"14652211071779869249","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ XS","offer_id":43698477367435,"sku":"17502560627321410046","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ S","offer_id":43698477400203,"sku":"24783296736733452995","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43698477432971,"sku":"15812522278626351482","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ S","offer_id":43698477465739,"sku":"29178119750360302277","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ M","offer_id":43698477498507,"sku":"26216639843149151452","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":43698477531275,"sku":"13336734300851996281","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ M","offer_id":43698477564043,"sku":"33424936465431097689","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ L","offer_id":43698477596811,"sku":"72966782954301140126","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":43698477629579,"sku":"29277740794201363598","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ L","offer_id":43698477662347,"sku":"16209946723650816630","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ XL","offer_id":43698477695115,"sku":"25307352347790957817","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":43698477727883,"sku":"31605095462781637104","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ XL","offer_id":43698477760651,"sku":"27740905864824286277","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ 2XL","offer_id":43698477793419,"sku":"93752809588050887575","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":43698477826187,"sku":"83675365330936988595","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ 2XL","offer_id":43698477858955,"sku":"15565928595467177854","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ 3XL","offer_id":43698477891723,"sku":"60471323621793190934","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":43698477924491,"sku":"25810922949545964214","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ 3XL","offer_id":43698477957259,"sku":"39202819449632622068","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ 4XL","offer_id":43698477990027,"sku":"25118334691161369086","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":43698478022795,"sku":"18151199238041270065","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ 4XL","offer_id":43698478055563,"sku":"23703427573114683549","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":43698478088331,"sku":"28288987471985057257","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0695\/5627\/3291\/files\/12941645670634709839_2048.jpg?v=1755825060"},{"product_id":"kakapo-reggae-revival-jersey-tee","title":"Kakāpō Reggae Revival Jersey Tee","description":"\u003ch1\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eKakāpō \u003c\/span\u003eReggae Revival Tee – Soon To Be Mythical\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Cotton\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen you’re a flightless, nocturnal parrot with fewer than 250 left on Earth, forming a reggae band is less a career move and more a coping mechanism. 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Mourn the absurd. Save the species\u003c\/strong\u003e—before they’re \u003cem\u003eSoon To Be Mythical\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Army \/ XS","offer_id":43699760070795,"sku":"29403511375763814515","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cardinal \/ XS","offer_id":43699760103563,"sku":"23689224029874541580","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ XS","offer_id":43699760136331,"sku":"15070007162473722737","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ S","offer_id":43699760169099,"sku":"32298854320896810587","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cardinal \/ S","offer_id":43699760201867,"sku":"20096073278547591046","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ S","offer_id":43699760234635,"sku":"10563234291268865572","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ M","offer_id":43699760267403,"sku":"22739148643019509932","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cardinal \/ M","offer_id":43699760300171,"sku":"27831824611776511384","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ M","offer_id":43699760332939,"sku":"81937883050337251747","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ L","offer_id":43699760365707,"sku":"93348936110882568641","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cardinal \/ L","offer_id":43699760398475,"sku":"24298998721166364846","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ L","offer_id":43699760431243,"sku":"22108829720826596598","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ XL","offer_id":43699760464011,"sku":"27189333605231520475","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cardinal \/ XL","offer_id":43699760496779,"sku":"25285286508417665096","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ XL","offer_id":43699760529547,"sku":"26034807898568416527","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ 2XL","offer_id":43699760562315,"sku":"44503895075638999870","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cardinal \/ 2XL","offer_id":43699760595083,"sku":"19662109383984735718","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ 2XL","offer_id":43699760627851,"sku":"60086908517555482116","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ 3XL","offer_id":43699760660619,"sku":"16402443800193814654","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cardinal \/ 3XL","offer_id":43699760693387,"sku":"69563455829217122894","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ 3XL","offer_id":43699760726155,"sku":"29650924645153250004","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ 4XL","offer_id":43699760758923,"sku":"23955489976907336642","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cardinal \/ 4XL","offer_id":43699760791691,"sku":"26544624775889111177","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ 4XL","offer_id":43699760824459,"sku":"11618989002810072248","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0695\/5627\/3291\/files\/16634020639248693208_2048.jpg?v=1754409357"},{"product_id":"shoebill-death-metal-jersey-tee","title":"Shoebill Death Metal Jersey Tee","description":"\u003ch1\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eShoebill Death Metal Jersey Tee – Soon To Be Mythical\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Cotton\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen you look like a dinosaur and sound like a chainsaw, joining a death metal band is just destiny. 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Mourn the absurd. Save the species\u003c\/strong\u003e—before they’re \u003cem\u003eSoon To Be Mythical\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Army \/ XS","offer_id":43699774259339,"sku":"16830227971192033066","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":43699774292107,"sku":"19061737373709457462","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ XS","offer_id":43699774324875,"sku":"95165520389461364902","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ S","offer_id":43699774357643,"sku":"83730839865169387460","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43699774390411,"sku":"10564538228296198475","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ S","offer_id":43699774423179,"sku":"19162163935458693656","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ M","offer_id":43699774455947,"sku":"74333956251335023699","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":43699774488715,"sku":"14143342680966111388","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ M","offer_id":43699774521483,"sku":"16448031175159981897","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ L","offer_id":43699774554251,"sku":"22495851215927437613","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":43699774587019,"sku":"29597908090589246393","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ L","offer_id":43699774619787,"sku":"70137518332335239532","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ XL","offer_id":43699774652555,"sku":"10087272146211747684","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":43699774685323,"sku":"14115681652103160154","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ XL","offer_id":43699774718091,"sku":"29470207209557016875","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ 2XL","offer_id":43699774750859,"sku":"28413593454140851775","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":43699774783627,"sku":"22976207372896148388","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ 2XL","offer_id":43699774816395,"sku":"30008284053926805168","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ 3XL","offer_id":43699774849163,"sku":"12334588587192254122","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":43699774881931,"sku":"33896867946735699725","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ 3XL","offer_id":43699774914699,"sku":"12470200167799344062","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ 4XL","offer_id":43699774947467,"sku":"78197508687151042134","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":43699774980235,"sku":"12401951679996106896","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ 4XL","offer_id":43699775013003,"sku":"29631236300139657176","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":43699775045771,"sku":"15723461971101687691","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0695\/5627\/3291\/files\/13699362440237921250_2048.jpg?v=1754409898"},{"product_id":"red-panda-mandolin-jersey-tee","title":"Red Panda Mandolin Jersey Tee","description":"\u003ch1\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRed Panda Mandolin Tee – Soon To Be Mythical\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Cotton\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen the forests burn and the species vanish, sometimes all you can do is play a mournful tune. 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Mourn the adorable. Save the species\u003c\/strong\u003e—before they’re \u003cem\u003eSoon To Be Mythical\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Army \/ XS","offer_id":43699794804875,"sku":"28920802109614993788","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ XS","offer_id":43699794837643,"sku":"33044260636275574941","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ S","offer_id":43699794870411,"sku":"36928824207337220069","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ S","offer_id":43699794903179,"sku":"30908047496968805995","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ M","offer_id":43699794935947,"sku":"36711330589753866894","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ M","offer_id":43699794968715,"sku":"11636099592348938107","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ L","offer_id":43699795001483,"sku":"11751901273965188301","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ L","offer_id":43699795034251,"sku":"23481721432694538822","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ XL","offer_id":43699795067019,"sku":"15900874643110593483","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ XL","offer_id":43699795099787,"sku":"69969806574963637091","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ 2XL","offer_id":43699795132555,"sku":"11482645571958241313","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ 2XL","offer_id":43699795165323,"sku":"95497487663490500363","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ 3XL","offer_id":43699795198091,"sku":"10276323623481324723","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ 3XL","offer_id":43699795230859,"sku":"29001550163569918787","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ 4XL","offer_id":43699795263627,"sku":"33878237353529780692","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Olive \/ 4XL","offer_id":43699795296395,"sku":"95280268581501344071","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0695\/5627\/3291\/files\/4037478167917591146_2048.jpg?v=1754410368"},{"product_id":"tasmanian-devil-punk-vocalist-jersey-tee","title":"Tasmanian Devil Punk Vocalist Jersey Tee","description":"\u003ch1\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTasmanian Devil Punk Vocalist Tee – Soon To Be Mythical\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Cotton\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen your species is battling extinction and contagious cancer, screaming into a mic just makes sense. 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Mourn the absurd. 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Printed on ultra-soft, breathable cotton, it’s gentle on your skin (unlike sonar blasts and ship strikes on whales). Gallows humor meets oceanic heartbreak: wear it ironically, support it sincerely. A portion of every purchase goes to nonprofits working to protect endangered species—because whales don’t have lobbyists, but you have a wardrobe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEndangered Stats\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlue whales can grow up to 100 feet long and weigh 200 tons—basically a swimming skyscraper\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eListed as Endangered by the IUCN due to commercial whaling, climate change, and ocean noise\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePopulation recovering slowly, but still fewer than 25,000 remain globally\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThreatened by ship collisions, plastic pollution, and declining krill populations (their main food source)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOcean lovers who know the difference between a whale and a fish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConservationists with a dark sense of humor and a soft spot for megafauna\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who wants to raise awareness without raising their voice\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePeople who believe extinction should come with a punchline and a plan\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear the rare. Mourn the absurd. Save the species—before they’re Soon To Be Mythical.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Natural \/ XS","offer_id":43806347788427,"sku":"20517094969827202459","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XS","offer_id":43806347821195,"sku":"17130883949069489205","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ XS","offer_id":43806347853963,"sku":"23864871605608054169","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":43806347886731,"sku":"29775076121917599498","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":43806347919499,"sku":"20084514837510405183","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ S","offer_id":43806347952267,"sku":"75227449358213983201","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":43806347985035,"sku":"17320469797570796738","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":43806348017803,"sku":"10433179003521410447","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ M","offer_id":43806348050571,"sku":"49693008362681131829","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":43806348083339,"sku":"88144576102166806969","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":43806348116107,"sku":"79482185247019478924","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ L","offer_id":43806348148875,"sku":"21745586045828424143","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":43806348181643,"sku":"30749057674415183880","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":43806348214411,"sku":"25265267814925934874","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ XL","offer_id":43806348247179,"sku":"26204172064031521710","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":43806348279947,"sku":"30075048641854403066","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":43806348312715,"sku":"43866440383530081161","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ 2XL","offer_id":43806348345483,"sku":"55824944467481720451","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 3XL","offer_id":43806348378251,"sku":"13374968893028528056","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":43806348411019,"sku":"31371232009315600742","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ 3XL","offer_id":43806348443787,"sku":"17562830817152902982","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 4XL","offer_id":43806348476555,"sku":"32817831387278864534","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":43806348509323,"sku":"10697758201452588523","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ 4XL","offer_id":43806348542091,"sku":"59351202749333818345","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":43806348574859,"sku":"22776940557679738772","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0695\/5627\/3291\/files\/15768716027330816483_2048.jpg?v=1754948828"},{"product_id":"im-fine-pangolin-jersey-tee","title":"\"I'm Fine\" Pangolin Jersey Tee","description":"\u003ch1\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“I’m Fine” Pangolin Jersey Tee \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy It’s Tragically Perfect\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis ultra-soft jersey tee features a curled-up pangolin whispering “I’m fine”—the official emotional support pose of the endangered. Equal parts adorable and existential, it’s a wearable cry for help disguised as casual fashion. Whether you’re spiraling or just spiraling in solidarity, this shirt lets you broadcast your inner chaos with conservation flair.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA portion of every purchase goes to nonprofits working to protect endangered species—because pangolins deserve more than pity and punchlines.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eEndangered Stats\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePangolins are the most trafficked mammal on Earth\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAll eight species are listed as \u003cstrong\u003eVulnerable\u003c\/strong\u003e, \u003cstrong\u003eEndangered\u003c\/strong\u003e, or \u003cstrong\u003eCritically Endangered\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThreatened by illegal wildlife trade, habitat loss, and general human nonsense\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTheir defense mechanism? Curling into a ball. Their threat? 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Help pangolins stay wild, weird, and \u003cem\u003enot\u003c\/em\u003e mythical.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Army \/ XS","offer_id":43811857072267,"sku":"30828923624909840975","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":43811857105035,"sku":"16242105266457327525","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XS","offer_id":43811857137803,"sku":"17540568762563680733","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cement \/ XS","offer_id":43811857170571,"sku":"20598006315169968116","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army \/ S","offer_id":43811857203339,"sku":"66906702455304894212","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43811857236107,"sku":"50779352870210732910","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 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This 100% cotton (heathered colors are a cotton blend) tribute to the ghost-cat of the East features a hauntingly realistic graphic of the Eastern Cougar and the text: “Be on the lookout, Eastern Cougar, declared extinct 2011.” It’s a wearable obituary with bite—and a portion of every purchase goes to non-profits fighting to keep other species from slipping into folklore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy It’s Tragically Perfect\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eEastern Cougar Jersey Tee\u003c\/em\u003e is for those who appreciate irony with their activism. Once prowling from Quebec to the Carolinas, the Eastern Cougar was officially declared extinct in 2011. This tee doesn’t just mourn—it mocks the absurdity of losing apex predators in the age of satellite tracking and DNA testing. It’s dark, it’s bold, and it’s painfully relevant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eEndangered Stats\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecies\u003c\/strong\u003e: \u003cem\u003ePuma concolor couguar\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDeclared extinct\u003c\/strong\u003e: 2011 by U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHistoric range\u003c\/strong\u003e: Eastern North America\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCurrent sightings\u003c\/strong\u003e: Mostly blurry backyard photos and conspiracy theories\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eConservation status\u003c\/strong\u003e: Extinct, but still protected under the Endangered Species Act (bureaucracy is wild)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eConservationists with a twisted sense of humor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnimal lovers who know extinction isn’t just a science term—it’s a punchline\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFans of ethically made, statement-driven streetwear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who swear they saw one in 2003 and will die on that hill\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who wants to wear a warning label for the planet\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eEastern Cougar Jersey Tee\u003c\/em\u003e by \u003cstrong\u003eSoon to Be Mythical\u003c\/strong\u003e is more than a shirt—it’s a snarky salute to a species that deserved better. 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Made from premium \u003cstrong\u003e100% cotton jersey\u003c\/strong\u003e, this tee is breathable, soft to the touch, and designed for comfortable wear while you scan the horizon for something that might not be there. Featuring a sleek graphic of the Gulf of Mexico’s only resident baleen whale and the urgent text \u003cstrong\u003e\"Be on the lookout,\"\u003c\/strong\u003e it serves as a wearable BOLO for one of the planet's rarest mammals.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy It’s Tragically Perfect\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Rice's Whale is the ultimate hipster of the ocean—most people haven't heard of it because science only confirmed it was a unique species in 2021. The text \"Be on the lookout\" is dark humor at its finest: with fewer than 100 left, spotting one is statistically unlikely, yet absolutely critical. 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Fifty-one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHabitat:\u003c\/strong\u003e They live exclusively in the Gulf of Mexico, making them the only baleen whale resident to these waters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThreats:\u003c\/strong\u003e Vessel strikes, ocean noise, and oil and gas exploration are pushing them to the brink.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eImpact:\u003c\/strong\u003e A portion of each Rice's Whale Tee purchase is donated to vetted non-profits that assist in the conservation of endangered species, ensuring your fashion statement helps keep the Gulf’s ghost alive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMarine biologists who know that \"rare\" is an understatement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGulf Coast locals who want to protect their backyard biodiversity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eConservationists who prefer their causes to be obscure and critically urgent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who wants to support a whale that is quite literally one bad day away from being a myth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Rice's Whale Tee from Soon To Be Mythical is more than just apparel—it’s an alert, a tribute, and a defiance of extinction. 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Made from premium \u003cstrong\u003e100% cotton jersey\u003c\/strong\u003e, this tee is breathable, soft to the touch, and designed for comfortable wear while you dig into the darker side of conservation. Featuring a bold graphic of this striking black-and-orange insect and the urgent text \u003cstrong\u003e\"Be on the lookout,\"\u003c\/strong\u003e it serves as a wearable BOLO for a creature that literally keeps the cycle of life spinning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy It’s Tragically Perfect\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe American Burying Beetle is the ultimate goth of the animal kingdom—it spends its life burying dead birds and rodents to feed its young. It’s \"nature’s undertaker,\" and it does the dirty work so the rest of us don't have to. The text \"Be on the lookout\" is a nod to its disappearance from 90% of its historic range; finding one today is like finding a needle in a haystack, if the haystack was made of compost. Wearing this shirt is a way to embrace the macabre beauty of biodiversity and remind the world that even the bugs are disappearing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEndangered Stats\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe American Burying Beetle (\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNicrophorus americanus\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e)\u003c\/strong\u003e is classified as \u003cstrong\u003eCritically Endangered\u003c\/strong\u003e by the IUCN.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePopulation:\u003c\/strong\u003e Once found in 35 states, they are now restricted to isolated populations in fewer than 6 states (like Rhode Island, Oklahoma, and Nebraska).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHabitat:\u003c\/strong\u003e They require undisturbed soil and a steady supply of carrion (small carcasses) to survive and reproduce.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThreats:\u003c\/strong\u003e Habitat fragmentation, light pollution (which messes with their navigation), and the decline of the small animals they rely on for food.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eImpact:\u003c\/strong\u003e A portion of each American Burying Beetle Tee purchase is donated to vetted non-profits that assist in the conservation of endangered species, ensuring your fashion statement helps the little guys keep digging.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEntomologists who know that bugs actually run the world.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGoths with a sustainability complex.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGardeners and composters who appreciate good soil turnover.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who wants to support an animal that is quite literally one bad day away from being a myth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe American Burying Beetle Tee from Soon To Be Mythical is more than just apparel—it’s an alert, a tribute, and a defiance of extinction. 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A portion of every purchase goes to non-profits fighting to preserve endangered species—because while the Eskimo Curlew may be gone, your impact doesn’t have to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e🖤 Why It’s Tragically Perfect\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eEskimo Curlew 1962 Jersey Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e is for those who laugh through the grief and wear their heartbreak like armor. It’s a gallows-humor homage to a bird that vanished before color TV got mainstream. Whether you’re a birder with a dark side or just someone who likes their fashion extinct and their causes endangered, this tee delivers the message: “We looked away once. Let’s not do it again.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e📉 Endangered Stats\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Eskimo Curlew (\u003cem\u003eNumenius borealis\u003c\/em\u003e) was once one of the most abundant shorebirds in North America.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLast confirmed sighting: 1962. 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Whether the curlew is still out there or just a feathered ghost in the margins of ornithology, this tee keeps its story alive. 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aria-labelledby=\"uX5R8e8RC28j6qTPH7zRH-author uX5R8e8RC28j6qTPH7zRH-content-0\" tabindex=\"0\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"uX5R8e8RC28j6qTPH7zRH-content-0\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv role=\"article\" data-tabster='{\"groupper\":{\"tabbability\":2},\"focusable\":{}}' data-content=\"ai-message\" aria-labelledby=\"TbYNKFhagyTptDKrWJgPw-author TbYNKFhagyTptDKrWJgPw-content-0\" tabindex=\"0\"\u003e\n\u003ch1 id=\"TbYNKFhagyTptDKrWJgPw-content-0\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMothman Jersey Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e From \u003cem\u003eSoon to Be Mythical\u003c\/em\u003e, where cryptids meet conservation.\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis 100% cotton tee (heathered colors are a cotton blend) features a distressed graphic of the elusive Mothman, paired with the text: \u003cstrong\u003e“Mothman: Endangered. Only Appears Before Disasters.”\u003c\/strong\u003e It’s part cryptid alert, part existential shrug, and fully wearable folklore. A portion of every purchase goes to nonprofits working to protect endangered species—because whether Mothman is real or just really punctual, your impact doesn’t have to be imaginary. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e🖤 \u003cstrong\u003eWhy It’s Tragically Perfect\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eMothman Jersey Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e is for those who laugh through the chaos and dress like they’ve seen things. It’s a gallows-humor homage to a winged omen who allegedly shows up before bridges collapse, reactors melt down, or someone forgets to mute on Zoom. Whether you’re a cryptozoologist with commitment issues or just someone who likes their fashion apocalyptic and their causes mysterious, this tee delivers the message: \u003cstrong\u003e“If Mothman’s here, maybe take the stairs.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e📉 \u003cstrong\u003eEndangered-ish Stats\u003c\/strong\u003e Let’s talk about the shadow in the fog:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLast confirmed sighting\u003c\/strong\u003e: Depends who you ask.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStatus\u003c\/strong\u003e: Emotionally endangered, spiritually exhausted, and possibly unionizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHabitat\u003c\/strong\u003e: Remote forests, abandoned factories, and the collective anxiety of Appalachia.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThreats\u003c\/strong\u003e: Urban development, disbelief, and being blamed for every bad thing that happens.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eConservation note\u003c\/strong\u003e: While Mothman may not be on any official endangered species list, plenty of real creatures are—and your purchase helps protect them before they become legends too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWearing the \u003cstrong\u003eMothman Jersey Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e is a nod to the weird, the worried, and the winged. 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A portion of every purchase goes to nonprofits fighting to protect endangered species—because even mythical creatures know we’re running out of time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e🖤 \u003cstrong\u003eWhy It’s Tragically Perfect\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eYeti Climate Protest Jersey Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e is for those who believe in science, sarcasm, and snow-dwelling cryptids with a conscience. It’s a gallows-humor homage to a creature who allegedly lives in melting glaciers and still found time to make a sign. Whether you’re a climate warrior with a flair for the absurd or just someone who likes their fashion frosty and their causes urgent, this tee delivers the message: \u003cstrong\u003e“If the Yeti’s protesting, maybe we should listen.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e📊 \u003cstrong\u003eClimate Crisis Stats\u003c\/strong\u003e Let’s talk about the real monsters:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🌡️ Global temperatures have risen over 1.1°C since pre-industrial times\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❄️ Arctic sea ice is vanishing faster than your will to attend another Zoom meeting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🌍 Climate change affects every ecosystem—from coral reefs to cryptid habitats\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🛑 Human activity is the leading cause—burning fossil fuels, deforestation, and denial\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💚 Your purchase helps fund endangered species activism and habitat restoration\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWearing the \u003cstrong\u003eYeti Climate Protest Jersey Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e is a nod to mythical messengers and a nudge to stop pretending everything’s fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e🧠 \u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eClimate activists with a sense of humor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCryptid fans who believe in science\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEnvironmentalists who appreciate irony and icy silhouettes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFans of \u003cem\u003eSoon to Be Mythical\u003c\/em\u003e who know storytelling can spark change\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eYeti Climate Protest Jersey Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e isn’t just a shirt—it’s a signal, a smirk, and a soft scream into the void. 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We’re furious.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e🌊 \u003cstrong\u003eOcean Plastic Stats\u003c\/strong\u003e Let’s talk about what’s really clogging the seas:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧴 Over 11 million metric tons of plastic enter the ocean every year\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🐠 Microplastics have been found in 100% of tested marine turtles and 59% of whales\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧬 These plastics don’t biodegrade—they just break down into smaller, more toxic pieces\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🛑 Human activity is the cause—single-use plastics, fast fashion, and unchecked waste\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💚 Your purchase helps fund endangered species activism and habitat restoration\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWearing the \u003cstrong\u003eMermaids Against Microplastics Jersey Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e is a battle cry in cotton form. 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Mourn the absurd. Postpone the myth.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Soon To Be Mythical","offers":[{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":45123060138123,"sku":"4273345_19878","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ M","offer_id":45123060170891,"sku":"4273345_19879","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ L","offer_id":45123060203659,"sku":"4273345_19880","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":45123060236427,"sku":"4273345_19881","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":45123060269195,"sku":"4273345_19882","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ S","offer_id":45123060301963,"sku":"4273345_19858","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ M","offer_id":45123060334731,"sku":"4273345_19859","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ L","offer_id":45123060367499,"sku":"4273345_19860","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ XL","offer_id":45123060400267,"sku":"4273345_19861","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":45123060433035,"sku":"4273345_19862","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ S","offer_id":45123060465803,"sku":"4273345_23519","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ M","offer_id":45123060498571,"sku":"4273345_23520","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ L","offer_id":45123060531339,"sku":"4273345_23521","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ XL","offer_id":45123060564107,"sku":"4273345_23522","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ 2XL","offer_id":45123060596875,"sku":"4273345_23523","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Turquoise \/ S","offer_id":45123060629643,"sku":"4273345_23529","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Turquoise \/ M","offer_id":45123060662411,"sku":"4273345_23530","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Turquoise \/ L","offer_id":45123060695179,"sku":"4273345_23531","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Turquoise \/ XL","offer_id":45123060727947,"sku":"4273345_23532","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Turquoise \/ 2XL","offer_id":45123060760715,"sku":"4273345_23533","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":45123060793483,"sku":"4273345_19873","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":45123060826251,"sku":"4273345_19874","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":45123060859019,"sku":"4273345_19875","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":45123060891787,"sku":"4273345_19876","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":45123060924555,"sku":"4273345_19877","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0695\/5627\/3291\/files\/womens-relaxed-v-neck-t-shirt-heather-navy-front-6973dbd5ded48.jpg?v=1769200616"},{"product_id":"shoebill-stork-death-metal-women-s-v-neck","title":"Shoebill Stork Death Metal Women’s V-neck","description":"\u003ch1 data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003eShoebill Stork Death Metal Women’s V-neck Tee\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMeet the heavy metal drummer of the animal kingdom: The Shoebill Stork.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn't your standard boxy tee. 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Mourn the absurd. Turn up the volume, and postpone the myth.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Soon To Be Mythical","offers":[{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ S","offer_id":45123276046475,"sku":"6462448_19858","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ M","offer_id":45123276079243,"sku":"6462448_19859","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ L","offer_id":45123276112011,"sku":"6462448_19860","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ XL","offer_id":45123276144779,"sku":"6462448_19861","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":45123276177547,"sku":"6462448_19862","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Slate \/ S","offer_id":45123276210315,"sku":"6462448_19883","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Slate \/ M","offer_id":45123276243083,"sku":"6462448_19884","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Slate \/ L","offer_id":45123276275851,"sku":"6462448_19885","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Slate \/ XL","offer_id":45123276308619,"sku":"6462448_19886","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Slate \/ 2XL","offer_id":45123276341387,"sku":"6462448_19887","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Mauve \/ S","offer_id":45123276374155,"sku":"6462448_19868","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Mauve \/ M","offer_id":45123276406923,"sku":"6462448_19869","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Mauve \/ L","offer_id":45123276439691,"sku":"6462448_19870","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Mauve \/ XL","offer_id":45123276472459,"sku":"6462448_19871","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Mauve \/ 2XL","offer_id":45123276505227,"sku":"6462448_19872","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":45123276537995,"sku":"6462448_19873","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":45123276570763,"sku":"6462448_19874","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":45123276603531,"sku":"6462448_19875","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":45123276636299,"sku":"6462448_19876","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":45123276669067,"sku":"6462448_19877","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0695\/5627\/3291\/files\/womens-relaxed-v-neck-t-shirt-dark-grey-heather-front-6973fd6031a7b.jpg?v=1769209213"},{"product_id":"watch-me-whip-watch-me-nene-women-s-v-neck","title":"Hawaiian Nēnē Goose \"Watch Me\" Women’s V-neck Tee","description":"\u003ch1 data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003eHawaiian Nēnē Goose \"Watch Me\" Women’s V-neck Tee\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"Viral Dance\" Success Story\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLet’s be honest: If you were around in 2015, you had this song stuck in your head. 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This is a soft, relaxed-fit women's V-neck featuring a charming graphic of the Nene—the world’s rarest goose—accompanied by the tragically catchy text: \u003cstrong\u003e\"watch me whip, watch me (Nēnē)\"\u003c\/strong\u003e It’s the perfect blend of internet nostalgia and island biodiversity, turning a pun into a piece of wearable advocacy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis light cotton (100% cotton; Heather colors are 52% airlume combed and ring-spun cotton and 48% polyester) blend shirt is perfect for hiking volcanic trails, coastal strolls, or simply reminding everyone that the state bird of Hawaii is much cooler (and rarer) than your average park goose.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA portion of every purchase goes to nonprofits working in conservation—because while the Nēnē has made a historic recovery, they still need us to \"watch\" out for them on the roads and in the wild.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEndangered Stats\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStatus: Vulnerable (A Success Story).\u003c\/strong\u003e The Nēnē was once the rarest goose in the world. 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This is a soft, relaxed-fit women's V-neck featuring our iconic curled-up pangolin with a small speech bubble simply stating, \u003cstrong\u003e\"I'm fine.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e It’s the perfect blend of dark humor and biological reality, turning a defensive maneuver into a piece of wearable empathy for fellow introverts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis light cotton (100% cotton; Heather colors are 52% airlume combed and ring-spun cotton and 48% polyester) blend shirt is perfect for quiet coffee shop mornings, avoiding eye contact in the grocery store, or simply reminding everyone that being 90% armor and 10% anxiety is a valid way to exist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA portion of every purchase goes to nonprofits working in conservation—because while the pangolin thinks it's \"fine,\" it actually needs all the help it can get to stay off the \"mythical\" list.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEndangered Stats\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStatus: Critically Endangered.\u003c\/strong\u003e Pangolins are widely considered the most trafficked non-human mammals in the world, prized for their scales and meat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Defense:\u003c\/strong\u003e When threatened, they roll into a near-impenetrable ball. This works perfectly against lions and tigers, but unfortunately, it makes them very easy for poachers to simply pick up and put in a bag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Scales:\u003c\/strong\u003e Their scales are made of keratin—the exact same protein found in your hair and fingernails. Despite this, they are heavily targeted for use in traditional medicine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Reality:\u003c\/strong\u003e There are eight species of pangolins across Africa and Asia. All of them are facing extinction. They are solitary, nocturnal, and incredibly gentle—they just want to find some ants and be left alone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIntroverts whose primary defensive maneuver is saying \"I'm fine\" while internally screaming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who relate to a creature that is literally covered in armor but still looks worried.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWomen who prefer a relaxed V-neck with a side of mammalian advocacy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who believes that the world's most trafficked animal deserves a much louder voice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear the rare. Mourn the absurd. Curl into a ball, and postpone the myth.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Soon To Be Mythical","offers":[{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":45541561827467,"sku":"4762567_19878","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ M","offer_id":45541561860235,"sku":"4762567_19879","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ L","offer_id":45541561893003,"sku":"4762567_19880","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":45541561925771,"sku":"4762567_19881","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":45541561958539,"sku":"4762567_19882","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ S","offer_id":45541561991307,"sku":"4762567_19858","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ M","offer_id":45541562024075,"sku":"4762567_19859","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ L","offer_id":45541562056843,"sku":"4762567_19860","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ XL","offer_id":45541562089611,"sku":"4762567_19861","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":45541562122379,"sku":"4762567_19862","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Slate \/ S","offer_id":45541562155147,"sku":"4762567_19883","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Slate \/ M","offer_id":45541562187915,"sku":"4762567_19884","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Slate \/ L","offer_id":45541562220683,"sku":"4762567_19885","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Slate \/ XL","offer_id":45541562253451,"sku":"4762567_19886","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Slate \/ 2XL","offer_id":45541562286219,"sku":"4762567_19887","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ S","offer_id":45541562318987,"sku":"4762567_23519","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ M","offer_id":45541562351755,"sku":"4762567_23520","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ L","offer_id":45541562384523,"sku":"4762567_23521","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ XL","offer_id":45541562417291,"sku":"4762567_23522","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ 2XL","offer_id":45541562450059,"sku":"4762567_23523","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Turquoise \/ S","offer_id":45541562482827,"sku":"4762567_23529","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Turquoise \/ M","offer_id":45541562515595,"sku":"4762567_23530","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Turquoise \/ L","offer_id":45541562548363,"sku":"4762567_23531","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Turquoise \/ XL","offer_id":45541562581131,"sku":"4762567_23532","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Turquoise \/ 2XL","offer_id":45541562613899,"sku":"4762567_23533","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":45541562646667,"sku":"4762567_19873","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":45541562679435,"sku":"4762567_19874","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":45541562712203,"sku":"4762567_19875","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":45541562744971,"sku":"4762567_19876","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":45541562777739,"sku":"4762567_19877","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0695\/5627\/3291\/files\/womens-relaxed-v-neck-t-shirt-heather-slate-front-69988619dfc1a.jpg?v=1771603765"}],"url":"https:\/\/postponethemyth.com\/collections\/adult-jersey-tees.oembed?page=4","provider":"Soon To Be Mythical","version":"1.0","type":"link"}