🐨 “I’m Not Koala-fied for This” Hoodie

For the Socially Exhausted and Ecologically Enraged

The “I’m Not Koala-fied for This” Hoodie from Soon To Be Mythical is for anyone who’s ever felt emotionally endangered in a world on fire. Featuring a hilariously distraught koala and the painfully relatable phrase “I’m Not Koala-fied for This”, this hoodie blends burnout humor with conservation heartbreak—because sometimes the only thing left to do is laugh, cry, and layer up.

Whether you’re doomscrolling climate news or dodging small talk at the nurse’s station, this hoodie’s got your back (and your existential dread).

🧵 Hoodie Specs

• 🛍️ Spacious kangaroo pouch pocket for warmth, snacks, or hiding your feelings

• 🎯 Adjustable drawstring hood for a customized fit and dramatic exits

• ✂️ Seamless design for sleek lines and reduced fabric waste

• 🧶 Resilient cotton-poly blend for comfort, durability, and eco-anxiety naps

• 🐨 Graphic of a distressed koala with “I’m Not Koala-fied for This” text

• Sizes available: S to 5XL

💚 Why It’s Tragically Perfect

• Gallows humor meets wearable activism—because burnout is real and so is deforestation

• Cozy enough for hot takes, cold clinics, and awkward conservation fundraisers

• A tribute to the introverts, the overworked, and the over-it

• A portion of every purchase supports wildlife conservation and habitat restoration

📉 Endangered Stats

Let’s talk about the eucalyptus-scented icon of Australia:

• Vulnerable Species: Facing habitat loss, bushfires, and climate change

• Specialist Eaters: Koalas rely almost entirely on eucalyptus, which is disappearing fast

• Symbol of Climate Impact: Their declining numbers are a warning sign for broader ecosystem collapse

• Human Impact: Urban expansion, deforestation, and extreme weather events are pushing them toward extinction

• Conservation Support: A portion of every hoodie purchase goes to nonprofits protecting endangered species and restoring native ecosystems

🖤 Perfect For

• Burnt-out medics, students, and conservationists

• Animal lovers with a dark sense of humor

• Eco-anxious humans who feel deeply and nap often

• Anyone who’s ever felt koala-fied for absolutely nothing

Wear it like a warning. Or a cry for help in hoodie form. Because if the koala disappears, we lose more than a marsupial—we lose proof that even the cutest creatures aren’t safe from human nonsense. Let’s make extinction unfashionable.