Shoebill Yearbook Jersey Tee – Soon To Be Mythical 100% Cotton
Some birds sing. The Shoebill stares into your soul and silently judges your life choices. This tee features a yearbook-style portrait of the famously intense Shoebill Stork, crowned with the superlative: “Most Likely to Silently Judge Your Life Choices.” Because extinction is tragic—but side-eye is forever.
💀 Why It’s Tragically Perfect:
- Ethically made from ultra-soft, 100% cotton—ideal for surviving awkward encounters and existential dread
- Features a yearbook-style Shoebill photo with enough judgment to power a thousand therapy sessions
- Gallows humor meets conservation: wear it ironically, support it sincerely
- A portion of every purchase goes to nonprofits working to save endangered species (because Shoebills don’t do fundraisers)
📉 Endangered Stats:
- Listed as Vulnerable due to habitat loss and human disturbance
- Native to central tropical Africa, thriving in swamps and wetlands
- Known for its massive beak, prehistoric stare, and unsettling silence
- Threatened by wetland drainage, poaching, and the exotic pet trade
🦤 Perfect For:
- Conservationists with a dark sense of humor and a love for judgmental birds
- Animal lovers who appreciate sarcasm and swamp creatures
- Anyone who’s ever been silently judged—and survived
- Fans of satire, species, and savage superlatives
Wear the rare. Mourn the absurd. Save the species—before they’re Soon To Be Mythical.
