🛁 “My Anxieties Have Anxieties” Hoodie

For the Overstimulated, Overcommitted, and Over-It

The “My Anxieties Have Anxieties” Hoodie from Soon To Be Mythical features a delightfully frazzled axolotl trying to chill in a bathtub—because even regenerative amphibians need a break. Paired with the painfully accurate phrase “My Anxieties Have Anxieties,” this hoodie wraps you in warmth while you spiral in style.

It’s cozy enough for mental health days, durable enough for conservation rallies, and soft enough to wear while explaining neoteny to your therapist.

🧵 Hoodie Specs

• 🛍️ Spacious kangaroo pouch pocket for warmth, snacks, or hiding your feelings

• 🎯 Adjustable drawstring hood for a customized fit and dramatic exits

• ✂️ Seamless design for sleek lines and reduced fabric waste

• 🧶 Resilient cotton-poly blend for comfort, durability, and eco-anxiety naps

• 🦎 Graphic of an anxious axolotl in a bathtub with “My Anxieties Have Anxieties” text

• Sizes available: S to 5XL

💚 Why It’s Tragically Perfect

• Gallows humor meets wearable activism—because burnout is real and biodiversity is dying

• Cozy enough for hot takes, cold labs, and awkward conservation lectures

• A tribute to regenerative weirdos and emotional wrecks

• A portion of every purchase supports endangered species and habitat restoration

📉 Endangered Stats

Let’s talk about the pink-gilled ghost of Mexico:

• 🧬 Critically Endangered: Native to the lakes of Xochimilco, axolotls are now nearly extinct in the wild due to pollution, urban sprawl, and invasive species.

• 🧪 Lab Celebrity, Wild Tragedy: While thousands live in research labs and aquariums, wild populations have plummeted to fewer than 50 individuals in some surveys.

• 🌊 Habitat Loss: Once thriving in clean, interconnected waterways, axolotls now navigate canals clogged with waste and cut off by development.

• 🐟 Invasive Predators: Non-native fish introduced for farming compete with axolotls for food and eat their eggs—because humans never met an ecosystem they couldn’t mess up.

• 💚 Conservation Support: A portion of every hoodie purchase goes to nonprofits working to protect endangered species and restore native ecosystems.

🖤 Perfect For

• Burnt-out biologists, medics, and conservationists

• Animal lovers with a dark sense of humor

• Eco-anxious humans who know regeneration isn’t always emotional

• Anyone who’s ever felt like a bathtub-bound amphibian in a collapsing ecosystem

Wear it like a warning. Or a cry for help in hoodie form. Because if the axolotl disappears, we lose more than a salamander—we lose proof that weirdness and resilience deserve protection. Let’s make extinction unfashionable.