Emotionally Unavailable Pangolin Tee | Funny Anti-Valentine's Shirt
The "Not Today, Cupid" Armor
Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves. You? You prefer to curl into a calcified ball of keratin and wait for the threat (romantic affection) to leave the immediate area.
Meet your spirit animal: The Pangolin.
Nature’s most heavily armored introvert knows that the best way to deal with unsolicited arrows of love is to simply... bounce them off. This graphic features a realistic Pangolin doing what it does best—ignoring the drama—surrounded by the shattered remains of Cupid’s failed attempts.
It’s the perfect tee for Valentine’s Day, singles awareness day, or any Tuesday where you just want to be left alone to eat snacks in peace.
A portion of every purchase goes to nonprofits working to protect endangered species—because pangolins deserve more than pity and punchlines.
Endangered Stats
- Pangolins are the most trafficked mammal on Earth
- All eight species are listed as Vulnerable, Endangered, or Critically Endangered
- Threatened by illegal wildlife trade, habitat loss, and general human nonsense
- Their defense mechanism? Curling into a ball. Their threat? Us.
Perfect For
- Conservationists with a flair for gallows humor
- Animal lovers who relate a little too hard to the introvert energy
- Eco-anxious humans who want their activism to stick (literally and figuratively)
- Anyone who thinks extinction should at least come with good merch
Wear the rare. Mourn the absurd. Help pangolins stay wild, weird, and not mythical.
