Pangolin Yearbook Jersey Tee – Soon To Be Mythical 100% Cotton

When life gets overwhelming, the pangolin doesn’t cry—it curls into a pinecone and emotionally checks out. This tee features a yearbook-style photo of the world’s most introverted mammal, crowned with the superlative: “Most Likely to Turn Into a Pinecone Under Stress.” It’s a painfully relatable tribute to the scaly icon of avoidance.

💀 Why It’s Tragically Perfect:

• Made from ultra-soft, 100% cotton—ideal for stress naps and existential spirals
• Features a pangolin portrait that screams “I’m fine” in full emotional shutdown
• Gallows humor meets conservation: wear your anxiety, fund their survival
• A portion of every purchase supports nonprofits protecting endangered species

📉 Endangered Stats:

• Pangolins are the most trafficked mammal in the world, hunted for meat and scales
• All 8 species range from vulnerable to critically endangered
• Native to Asia and Africa, they’re losing habitat to agriculture and development
• Their defense mechanism? Curling into a ball and hoping for the best—same, honestly

🦔 Perfect For:

• Anyone who’s ever emotionally turned into a pinecone
• Conservationists with a dark sense of humor and a soft spot for scaly introverts
• Fans of satire, survival, and species with zero coping skills
• People who want their fashion to say “I care deeply, but I’m overwhelmed”

Wear the awkward. Mourn the absurd. Save the species—before they’re Soon To Be Mythical.